HAPPY BIRTHDAY B!\€h!

I’m unstable. Hate is actually love in its highest form. Abuse anger manipulation is love at its best… Punishment is something hoped for. Isolating self and mind focus on the problem in order to feel a certain type of amazing. It’s good to me… I feel comfort in my tragedies… When I’m happy without you I feel dead inside therefore that happiness remains invalid and becomes a practiced pretension. To be more clear, as sexual as I am… I can’t even fuck right. I can’t even fuck anyone the way I fuck you baby… It’s sad and hilarious…even when I’m dripping and open if it’s not with you… It’s dead… I find myself struggling to do the most basic things with somebody else… kissing…slurping you know the shit that you love… it’s wac with other guys/girls whoever I’m using to not run to you like a hopeless crack feign.

relapse- to slip or fall back into a former worse state; the act or an instance of backsliding, worsening or subsiding

When it comes over me… It stops me from sleeping… It stops me from breathing correctly and my whole body starts to lose control… Little by little… It starts with that gut feeling… that makes me want to curve my body upright as if it was satisfied… then my legs start to tighten and tremble…my fingers would start to move… grabbing my phone contemplating on what I should txt you if I should txt you… I wouldn’t dare call…I wouldn’t want you to hear my voice and indirect desperate purrs… you would even hear my tongue shake… Little by little I’ll start grabbing my hair… and neck…. and thighs… until I reluctantly touch myself… reluctance turns into aggression… some nights are harder then others…

GOD Knows, time will tell…